[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

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More from ~JackStills

holidazeholidaze

beautiful aromas
from the kitchen,wafts

relatives young an old
a family gathering
political arguments
religious debates
food laden plates

thus describes thanksgiving
for just about all
minus the drunk uncle
but that is not all

birthday presents
(mostly clothes)
iron man 2
a bunch o' books
interesting product placement
a taste of the day

pumpkin pie
sweet potato bread
why are these bubbly sentiments
in my head

forgive me deviants
I can't find dark
damn the holidays
AND DAMN YOU TOM !(the turkey )

things and stuffthings and stuff

always on my mind
never any rest

no escape
from things and stuff

what will i eat?
why can't i sleep?

will i ever be rich?
or find true love ?

somany things
so much stuff
my mind turned to mush

the crushing weight
as the mind breaks

wow just saw my friend streaking
must have been cold

why do you wear that awful hat
if i may be so bold ?

will i succeed?
should i try ?

I'll probably just fail?
when will I die?

what happens after?
do we just disapear.
does a wierd gameshow host tell you the prize?
ascend to the skies ?

is there life elsewhere?
amongst the stars
watchers from afar

friendly or foe?
wa

alonealone

in the dead of night ,
I sit alone
abandoned by sleep

face lit
by the soft monitors glow
the world at my finger tips
yet so alone

the sandman missed a stop
for awake I am

my lids are heavy yet
fall they refuse
the walls
they bleed

it isn't real
and yet so it seems
to be a reality

the house settles
creaks and groans
rustlings in the walls
and yet so alone

I wish to sleep
and yet I don't
haunting dreams
bitter memories

not all dark
the dreams I mean
scantily clad women
troves of money
adventure,
and ancient prophecy

some call me vampir
others incubi
I preffer insomnyite

so alone
so alone

you can be what you wantyou can be what you want

you can be what you want
but it isn't always true

to be what you want you have to be you
but most days it gets harder and harder

to be true to you

some say you have to be born into greatness
others that it is thrust upon you
but what do they know
those who have everything
yet nothing at all

it is said if you put your mind to it that you can do anything
that the mind is the greatest weapon of all
but can the senses not be dulled?
your judgment clouded
cannot fear parylize?

but we still dare to dream,
keep fighting the good fight
and if your lucky
and seize opportunity by the balls

you can be w

The way of the worldthe way of the world

the way it spins,a blue ball in vast black
infested with creatures
bent on destruction
pollution
devastation
war
mass genocide
theft
crime
hunger
poverty

why do these attrocities run rampant
the way of the world is cruel

yet the potential for good
keeps it all in check
or so they say
I don't see it

why do the good people get punished
while the evil triumph?

why do the assholes get richer
while the humble suffer in poverty ?

why must this be the way of the world?

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I am what I am

by ~JackStills, Aug 1, 2011, 11:31:12 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I am what I am
a man without a plan
no future goals
or at least
none of realistic achieveability

I want to explore the stars
do really cool stuff
in really fast cars
I want to see the depths of the deepest oceans

I want to blow things up
if only to prove I'm not a fuck up

I am what I am
a dreamer at heart
I want to sing in a band
internationally knownn
If only I can find my start

I am
probably not the sharpest tool in the shed
but I won't stop till I'm dead
a new found driving force
an epiphany
who knows what this new insight will make of me