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JackStills's avatar
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Literature Text

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It speaks for itself .....really I couldn't sleep and mind kept going back to this particular day
I was maybe 12 or 13 when this happened ....yeah I know ...messed up huh ?
Mature
© 2011 - 2024 JackStills
Comments43
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kittiasher's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

Wow.... Just wow.... That is amazing, both the poem and the fact that it's a true story. The scene is depicted well through visual imagery and the adjectives used to describe the scene. The end-rhyme is brilliantly done, it doesn't feel "forced" or "juvenile" as it sometimes can. The stanzas help to break up the action and keep the reader in suspense, again, very well done, and the relaxed language of the piece gives the reader a feeling of not building up that anger often associated with a "fight scene," and it's almost as if the sensei is right there with us. Amazing piece! Definitely your best work! *Stands to give applause*