[x]

You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.

Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.

I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.

Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.

Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th

PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone

ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag

Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...

ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”

brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.

Virginia,

put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.

I promise.

with love,
Ouse.

P.S.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
sleep well.

TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.

I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.

Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity

Remnants

Hold on to my sanity every single day
I’m not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.

Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?

You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.

You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.

Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and

combatantI.
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.

I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
expression—

skin like a courtyard of
ivory tiles,
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.

she beams from atop her
sunlit tower,
beatific and beautiful,

spreads her arms like
open doors,
invites you to be one of

the many
who have wandered her
lavish halls.

II.
I’ve often thought
of myself
as a castle:

all rough-hewn stone
and turrets,
a temper like molten
tar.

my head is crowned
with
embattled parapets,

weapons readied
at the crenels.

I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits

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More from ~JackStills

our own realitiesthe world is full of bastards
lowly peasants
who think they're their own masters
what do you know independence
forever worried about the next paycheck
or whether your wife, the love of your life
will be found in bed with your best friend
but we all pretend that the world is perfect
and surround ourselves in our feeble shells

humanitarians striving for world peace
but when thrust into a situation
for which there is no peaceful solution
they are reduced to the brutality they strive against

so called brave men,when thrust into the face of death
reduced to the miserable cowards they are
blubbering and crying ,even pleading t

uninspirationwhat to write
what to write
i don't know what to write

there's a place in france where the naked ladies....
oh wait someone wrote that

hmm.....
there once was a man from nantucket
nope nope nope

harikari
sepuku
I love you
?

nope that's stupid

damn it all
maybe I'll just write about not knowing what to write about
because now I face the enemy of all writer's
uninspiration
writer's block
a veritable mind cramp if you will

rift in time part two"Ugh fucking hang over...."Jack groans aloud to himself .
Must have been a dream ......why the fuck is it so hot in my apartment!

He opens his eyes and is blinded by a blazing hot sun.

"the fuck ?"Shielding his eyes as he sits up and takes a look around.
He is surrounded by an arid desert. In the distance sand colored mountains loom behind the shimmering waves of heat. Judging by the sun its almost noon which he founds odd because it was late evening when he entered the empire state building.
I'm alive ..... all those people.......gone.
but something doesn't feel right .

Looking around he notices he is sitting on hard baked sand.If a nucle

why?why....
do birds fly
so high in the sky
effortless and carefree
why cant that be me?

why...
must everything come to an end
when it has just begun
no more fun
now its done

why ....
do married couples fight?
and argue too much
mostly over bills and stuff
and use the word "divorce"
and mess up their kids minds
almost by force

why ....
must it be so hard
get your mind outta of the gutter
you freakin 'tard
I mean life
so clouded with misery and strife
making a simple man as I
wanna break down and cry

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musings

by ~JackStills, Dec 16, 2010, 4:36:10 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

you once said you loved me
now i know you lied
never trusted
and tried to hide
the fact of the matter
that you rather be hated than be with me

"cold hearted, bastard, drunk "
is what you said i am
i didn't deserve it

I gave you my heart and you set it alight
in front of my eyes ,the ashes fell
but i can say I tried
i truly tried
but all for naught
for you were never mine to keep

their is no solice
no magic pill
because I'll never be able to forget
the times we shared
good and bad
twas allI had
kept me sane
alive inside

now I've died
no inner light
naught but a void

i want you outta of my head
to just press ctrl+alt+ delete on the keypad
and make things the way they were before

pointless musings over what we had
hell I should be glad your gone
they all said you were poison
and they were right

what kills me most is the lack of respect
to end it with a text
no respect
no respect

thanks for the broken heart
as if i really needed that

the bottle is almost empty
as i sit on the floor
fighting tears i refuse to shed
cursing the phantoms in your form
as the liquor makes me numb
thoughts of you making me sick
feels like walls closing in

you said you would never hurt me
twas a lie a fuckin lie
I would wish you death
but for you
it's only another escape
because death be easy
and i want you to suffer
alone and with out me
with no arms as comfort
or shoulder to cry upon
i loved you once but you spat it in my face

screaming with rage
the bottle breaks
its golden contents paint the wall
the phoenix rises from it's ashes ,never to mourn
maybe I will rise from mine

musingsby ~JackStills

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Your Betrayal Lyrics

Am I going insane
My blood is boiling inside of my veins
An evil feeling attacks
My body’s shaking there’s no turning back
don't take your eyes off the trigger
I’m not to blame if your world turns to black
as your eyes start to blister
there's just no hope for our final embrace
So here we are, I’m in your head
I’m in your heart!

You were told to to run away
soak the place and light the flame
Pay the price for your betrayal
Your betrayal, Your Betrayal!

I was told to stay away
Those two words I can’t obey
Pay the price for your betrayal
Your betrayal, Your Betrayal!

Is it my turn to die?
My heart is pounding as I say goodbye
So now I dance in the flames
I love you crying and screaming my name

You said that we’d be forever
How could you kill me and lie to my face
Now that we can’t be together
There’s just no hope for a final embrace

So here we are, I’m in your head
I’m in your heart!

You were told to run away
Soak the place and light the flame
Pay the price for your betrayal
Your betrayal, Your Betrayal!

I was told to stay away
Those two words I can’t obey
Pay the price for your betrayal
Your betrayal, Your Betrayal!

So here we are, I’m in your head
I’m in your heart

You were told to to run away
soak the place and light the flame
Pay the price for your betrayal
Your betrayal, Your Betrayal!!

I was told to stay away
Those two words I can’t obey
Pay the price for your betrayal,
Your Betrayal

lyrics by bullet for my valentine